By Linda Grupp Boutin
10-30-15—Getting Ahead in NaNoWriMo 2015
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world
gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let
them be afraid. John 14:27
I went to see Dr.
Holland on Tuesday and she provided me with much to think about as my week progressed. She said I am a survivor. Also noted, she predicted that I would
live another 20 years. When I asked why she thought such a thing, especially since
she was checking how I was doing after a 2-week hospital stay, she said because
she had seen me for the last 20 years. Given my many digestive and kidney
crises over those years, it seemed a strange prognostication to me. However,
given the checkered pattern of my health since my early 20s, she does have a
basis for saying I am a survivor.
She also
mentioned that she would like to see me write a book because there are so many
things I had to have learned over the course of the last 40 years. She is correct about me learning some important lessons through trials, but sometimes I am afraid to share them with others. Today I am setting aside those fears and trusting my readers.
First and most
importantly, I have learned that we are not in control. No matter how hard we
plan out our lives, set goals, follow rules or flaunt them, God is in control.
I have tried to hang onto the reins of my life, all for naught. When God says,
“You will survive," you do survive. And when God says, “I am taking you home,”
you go and join Him in the hereafter. We may try to intervene, but unless we
commit suicide, He is in control.
Celebrating a God-created collaboration |
Recently I lost a
beloved pet, our dog Kindu. I promise my dogs on the day that they enter my
life, that I will never let them suffer. And the hardest thing for me to do is
follow through on that promise. It means when life becomes too difficult and
painful for my pet, I must make the hard decision to inflict pain on myself by
letting them go to their rest. Kindu was much tougher of a decision because
nothing was ever too clear-cut for him. So my husband and I worked together for
9 months to fight for the life of our “boy.” The empathy I felt for him
overwhelmed me because his disease was digestive, like mine. When he couldn’t
eat or drink for 2 days, when he continued to lose weight despite our best
efforts, the decision was made for us. Time for the boy to rest. We have cried
together over and over for his loss, but that is another lesson, pain is part
of life.
The day we brought Kindu home |
There is a natural
cycle to life. Our bodies try to strive towards wellness up until our final
breath. Someone I know decided it was their time for death.
However God did not agree. They survived their crisis and came to enjoy life again. The will to live is often stronger than we
anticipate. If anyone had told me at 20 all that I would need to endure to
live, I would have scoffed. But as I said earlier, we are not in control. Had I
been born in an earlier time or a different country, the outcome may have been
different. But my health has been supported in the United States with our
current technology against all the odds. Much to the happiness of my friends
and loved ones.
Another lesson I
have learned is to listen first and listen well. This is not to say that I
always manage this, but I do try. Especially when talking to doctors because
sometimes the news they must give is particularly painful. I have had the joy
of working with a small number of doctors over a lifetime. I have also had the
good luck of many superior doctors working on my case. I thank the Lord for
guiding me to healing hearts and hands that have been so concerned about my
life.
One of the
tactics I have learned over the years is to take my anger out on the disease.
When I studied taekwondo, punching the air repeatedly was a daily exercise. I
would get bored with the repetitions until I began envisioning my punches
defeating the digestive disease I endured. This made my workout more fun and
seemed to mobilize my immune system at the same time. Another time I decided to
take up roller-blading after a long hospitalization. This year I have decided to
take up the NaNoWriMo challenge of writing 1500 words per day in November.
Tonight I have been warming up while writing this. Almost 1000 words today so
far.
In previous years
when I have taken up this challenge I have failed miserably. Sporadic writing
days, stretching to reach the magical 1500 words, kind of like today! And yet,
having failed I also love to go back and read what I wrote. It gives me such
insight into what was on my mind in those years. In retrospect, although I
could not finish the challenge, I am happy I made the effort to try. This year
I can do better than previous tries. A special challenge to myself! From a caring doctor who believes that I can!
No comments:
Post a Comment